Before You Fix Them

The Verse That Gets Thrown in Your Face

When is the last time you tried to correct somebody — correcting them for some immorality or something sinful, not just how to do something but something wrong that they're doing — and their response was, "Don't judge me"?

Or they might even bring up the verse we're going to look at today. "Jesus says not to judge. So haven't you read the Bible? " And you just got Jesus-juked by somebody who's probably not even a Christian. How do we respond to that? They're saying you're acting like a judge, that's bad. You're not supposed to tell me what I can or can't do.

Well, the truth is that we are supposed to correct others. And some people, no matter how you approach them, no matter how gracious you are, are always going to make some excuse. They'll take this verse out of context to try to shut you down. They simply don't want to ever be corrected. Hopefully that's not you, but surely you'll encounter people in your lives where no matter how wrong they are, they don't want to hear it. And they'll just call you a judgy judger or whatever — I just made that up, I don't know, you guys can coin it if you want.

But when Jesus says "judge not, lest you be judged" — that's the line, right? — he's talking about approaching people the right way. Approaching people for correction carefully, responsibly. He's not talking about choosing your words, though that matters. He's not talking about picking the right moment, though that makes sense — you don't want to do it with bad timing. But he's talking about making it about you first before you make it about them.

So what Jesus is teaching in this passage is that we should correct others when it's necessary, when people need it, but we should do it the right way — responsibly. And in fact, if you don't do it the right way, if you do it irresponsibly, you have no business correcting anyone. In that case, your friend is correct to push back.

Should a church correct an erring member? Yes. That's the work of ministry, oftentimes, of course — that's not all that church is about, but sometimes it happens, and the church would be negligent not to correct somebody who is clearly wrong. But not if it's done the wrong way, because then it just adds to the problems. Should parents correct their children? Yeah, hearty amen to that. Of course — that's your job. That's not all of what your job is, but it's a main component. And it's not going to go well if you don't do it right. Should spouses correct each other? Yes, definitely. But again, if you do it the wrong way, it won't work — it'll be a mess.

So not only can we correct others when necessary, we should correct others when necessary, but we should do it right. Or it's not going to work, or even worse, it makes things worse than they were before.

So let's look at the verse together, this popular section of Jesus' sermon. We're in Luke chapter six, moving through the gospel of Luke. If you haven't been here in a while or you're joining us for the first time, we're in Luke chapter 6 today, verses 37 to 42. Hopefully you brought a Bible. If you didn't and you brought a phone or a tablet, you can download an app — I do want you to follow along to see what Jesus says here.

Let me read it straight through, verses 37 to 42 — not long — and then we'll seek to understand what he means about how to approach the situation when you're correcting someone else.

Jesus is not talking about never correcting anyone. What Jesus is talking about is how to correct someone.

The Measure You Use Will Be Used on You

Here's the first aspect of how to do it the right way, how to approach it correctly. The core piece to doing it responsibly, when it's time to correct somebody, is to understand that the measure you use to correct others will be used on you.

That's the point of verses 37 and 38. "Judge not, and you will not be judged. " How you act is how it's going to be acted upon you. "Condemn not, and you will not be condemned. " Two negatives, then two positives. Don't do this, don't do that, but do this and do this. "Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. " Jesus repeats a pattern four times: don't do this unless you're ready for that to be done to you — he does that twice — and then, do this and it will be done back to you, the positive ones, forgive and give.

So if you judge, be ready to be judged. Don't condemn unless you're okay with being condemned on that point. And then on the flip side, forgive people, because there's going to come a time where you're going to need to be forgiven. And give to people, because one day you will be the one in need.

Now, here's a question I wrestled with and I don't want to derail this for very long, but I think it's important. Does Jesus mean divine reciprocity or human reciprocity? Do I mean how I act toward other people is how God is going to act toward me? Or is Jesus saying how I act toward people is how people are going to act toward me — sort of like a Christian version of karma, what goes around comes around?

And usually when people say that, they mean: if you act like that toward people in class, if you act like that at the gym or toward your coworkers, that's how your coworkers are going to act toward you. It goes back around. And I think that's part of it, because in general that's kind of true. If you're a jerk to people, people are probably not going to be as nice back to you.

But I do think the accent lands on how God treats you. Let me give you a couple of examples — these will sound familiar.

Matthew 6: 14–15 — familiar words. Jesus again. Forgive is one of our four things, right? How you treat others. Jesus says, "If you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. " That's clearly divine. He's not talking about what goes around comes around with other people. He's talking about how you forgive — or don't forgive — others is how God is going to forgive — or not forgive — you. Very clear in Matthew 6. "But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. "

There's one level where you go, "Man, if I treat people this way, they're going to end up treating me this way. " But you can kind of get away with it, because then you surround yourself with sort of easygoing people that just take your jerkiness. And the people who don't stand it, they're just not your friends. You kind of curate a group of friends that tolerate you being a jerk, and you go, "Well, I have friends. " Yeah, but you have a particular kind of friend. You can kind of get away with it. But in Matthew 6, Jesus makes it really clear — he's not talking about how other people will treat you. He's talking about your divine responsibility before the Father to act toward others the way he acts toward you.

One more: James 2: 13. James says, "Judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. " There's no mercy in judgment for the person who doesn't show any mercy. And if you read that paragraph in James, it seems like he's talking about the law that God gives us and how we sometimes disregard it or obey it. And especially with regard to how we treat other people. James is saying there's no mercy in judgment for someone who shows no mercy to others.

So if I'm merciful to other people, God is merciful to me. But if I'm harsh and I choke the man who owes me money — remember Jesus' story? — then my master goes, "Well, if you're going to choke people for their debts, I'm not going to forgive you for the far bigger debt you have toward me. "

What I'm saying is this is replete throughout the Gospels and through scripture: our horizontal relationships and how we treat our neighbors is intricately tied to our relationship with God, and we can't separate them. I can't receive grace from God and not give grace to other people. It doesn't work that way.

So while it may be true that how you treat others is how they will generally treat you, the idea here is that we're liable to judgment from God in relation to how we judge other people. God oversees. When you go to correct somebody, he sees that. He's watching that. And he oversees what we will receive in connection to how we give — receive from him in connection to how we give to other people.

What do people need when they are in error? They need correction, yes, but they need mercy. They need grace. They need patience. They need someone to share their burden with them — Galatians 6. And we know that because that's what we needed before God. God needed to be long-suffering, patient, with a long fuse before his anger got hot. He welcomed us, and we didn't get everything right right away when we came to Christ. He walks with us and matures us patiently. And Jesus is saying: when we're generous toward people in that way, God will be generous toward us in that way.

So when he says "give and it will be given to you, " he uses this illustration of being in the market buying food — a sack of flour, let's say. "It will be given to you good measure. " Think about it: you say, "I want to buy a pound of flour. " The merchant has a tin, and when the flour is filled to the brim, that's a pound — just so you're not getting ripped off, but also so they're not giving you two pounds of it.

Now imagine you're buying this flour, and they're putting it in the tin. They don't just drop it in loosely — you know how there are air pockets when you scoop protein powder and you've got to shake it because you're not sure if you're getting a full scoop? He's saying: press it down, shake it around, tap it a few times, then add more to fill it back to the top. That's a generous merchant. You paid for a pound, this tin measures a pound, and I'm going to give you all of the flour. And then — what does he say? — running over. It's spilling into your lap as he fills it. That's the generosity of God. He's not skimpy with his mercy. He gives more of it than you need, goes above and beyond, not based on what you deserve or what you paid for, but even more.

This is easy when the offenses we're correcting are light or don't really have anything to do with us. We see someone doing something wrong to someone else and we say, "Hey, you might want to cut that out. " And then we drop it. But if it's directed at me, it's a harder conversation. When someone really falls flat on their face in some major lapse of moral judgment, this is harder to do.

But if it were you that fell, if it were you that were sinning, how would you want to be treated? If someone came alongside you to correct and help you, you need to be like that person. Be merciful, generous, kind — overflowing with generosity and kindness, because that's how God treats you.

And to Ben's point from last week's passage: if you were here, and more true to what Jesus is teaching, this is how God has already treated you. So we don't just look to the future — "How will God treat me? " — but to the past: "How has God treated me in the cross? " While I was still a sinner, Christ died for me. That's how he demonstrated his love. And so that's our model when we correct others.

If God has truly broken into your life with this tremendous mercy, then you'll be a conduit of it. God is pouring his mercy into you. You're dispensing it to others, even when you're correcting them. That's the mode. It's mercy and it's grace.

So to correct someone rightly — your spouse, your friend, your buddy, your coworker, someone else in the church, your children — we need to understand that the measure we use will be used on us. If we enjoy and appreciate the mercy of God, we need to be merciful.

One might respond to this by thinking: "Okay, I'm just going to leave everyone alone. I'll never correct anyone, because I don't want to be corrected. I don't want any measure used on me at all, so I'm not going to use any measure on anybody. Leave me alone, I'll leave you alone, and let's just enjoy each other's company. " But that would be most unwise.

You want to be corrected when you're wrong, because sin has consequences. Just like a speck or a splinter in your eye — aside from being quite painful — impairs your vision, so sin wrecks your life. You don't want specks in your eye. And if somebody calls you out and they've got logs in their eye, you might go, "You can't say anything. " All right. But at the end of the day, is there a speck in your eye, though? Because you might want to have that taken care of.

Of course we want correction. What we don't want is unfair correction. If you correct me because you care for me, I need to accept that and I want that. But I'm not helped by you if you share the exact same problem and can't see it in yourself — only in me. That's the rub.

The Blind Leading the Blind

So here's how Jesus deepens the point. Should we correct each other? Yes, we should correct others when necessary — but rightly. Not as hypocritical judges, but as humble guides. Not with hypocrisy, but with humility. Not as a judge, but as a guide, a help.

Look again at verses 39 to 42. "He also told them a parable. " One of the shortest parables we can probably find in Scripture, but pretty simple — no long story. "Can a blind man lead a blind man? Will they not both fall into a pit? " The parable is a question. If you're blind, the person you're leading will also be blind. You fall into a pit, they fall into a pit. "A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone when he is fully trained will be like his teacher. "

"Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck that is in your eye, ' when you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eye? " The point is to do the eye surgery — and he's not saying don't do the eye surgery, he's saying how can you do the eye surgery if you can't see? "You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the speck that is in your brother's eye. " It's not ignore the speck. It's approach the speck the right way — get your log out first.

The blind can't lead the blind, because then both fall into disaster. This is because disciples are trained to be just like their teachers. And those of us who are teachers, mentors, parents, disciple-makers, growth group leaders — what weight falls upon our shoulders? We can only lead where we've experienced success. Our areas of failure don't only hurt us — they hurt those we influence.

The sin in your life that you're not killing, you can't help your child with that. The thing in your life that you've not laid to rest, you can't help your spouse with that. As that person sits and meets with you for coffee and you're excited to start moving through the gospel of Mark with them, and they bring up something they're struggling with — and you've been struggling with it too for the past ten years, you've never killed it — how is the rest of that conversation going to go?

The blind can't lead the blind. How can I teach my son purity if I'm lurking through pictures on the internet? How can I tell my daughter to respect her body in all godliness while objectifying the daughters of other men? I can't. Jesus is saying: my children will fall into my same trap after me, into the same hole.

That's why, in James 3, James says, "Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. " This doesn't mean only those who've reached perfection can teach or disciple or be a parent — because if that were the bar, none of us should. It means we can't lead where we haven't gone. We can't teach others how to avoid pitfalls if we can't see them ourselves, if we don't avoid them ourselves.

So Jesus makes the strategy pretty clear in verse 41. "Don't ignore it" — I'll leave that speck alone if you leave my log alone — because then you both fall into a pit. No one wants to be in the pit. That's not the goal. And the goal is also not for one person to try to tell the other person to dodge the pit while they themselves fall into the pit, because Jesus says, they still both fall into the pit. So what's the solution? Fix yourself and then help fix the other person. Get the log out, and then — because your log is out, now, through your own experience of deliverance and victory — you can help someone else.

"Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? " It takes introspection and self-examination to do this right. "How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck that is in your eye, ' when you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eye? " That's hypocrisy, he says. He calls that person a hypocrite.

And the strategy is this: first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the speck that is in your brother's eye. The problem isn't seeing the speck in your brother's eye. The problem is not seeing your own beam hanging out of your own eye. And Jesus uses this eye analogy in keeping with the blind leading the blind — that's the theme. Why are you blind? Something's in your eye. You can be less blind by taking the junk out of your eye.

This is why Jesus so often called the Pharisees blind guides in other passages — they would require things of others while ignoring their own sins. They were hypocrites. It won't do to say, "I know I haven't fixed this, but you really should get that together in your life. " This doesn't work.

Unblind yourself, then you can unblind others. Now you can both see and avoid the pits. And notice that Jesus' solution isn't to just leave both alone. And it's also not to see your own log and leave other people alone. It's: first take the log out of your own eye, then it's time — you will see clearly to take out the speck that is in your brother's eye. You're supposed to do eye surgery on somebody else. You just have to do it from a certain place. A place of humility and victory.

The solution isn't ignoring sins. That doesn't help anybody. But we can't fix the sins in other people's lives that we haven't fixed ourselves. So the solution is: fix it in yourself so you can help others fix theirs.

Some people are going to refuse your help no matter what you do. It doesn't matter what you've fixed in your life, it doesn't matter how many things you've put in order — they like their disorder, thank you very much, and they'll throw this verse in your face, and they just don't want help. But some will take the help. Some are desperate for it, needing it, but they just need somebody who's a couple of steps ahead.

And I don't think Jesus means kill the sin to the tune of never struggling with it again — like, "Anger? I don't even know what that feeling is anymore. " No. But if you're always flying off the handle, always losing control, and everyone knows that guy's got a temper — how can you possibly talk to your kid about it? "Hey, don't be angry, all right? " That's going to fall on deaf ears.

And that's the gospel. This is why Jesus chose the twelve — in the previous chapter he chose the twelve, and then preached the gospel alongside the healing miracles. Because the gospel heals. He heals these disciples who take the healing message out to other people. That's a lot of speck removing. It's healing.

God is perfect and points out sin in us — that's how it begins. We're sinners, God is perfect. Can he tell us something we're doing wrong? Yes, he has no logs or specks. And he's in the position to point it out because he's perfect. When we cling to Christ, we're healed of our diseased sinfulness and now put in position to help others. We're healed in Christ — meaning, though we're not perfect, Christ is perfect, and he takes our imperfections upon himself while imputing his perfect righteousness to us. So I don't help others because I'm perfect. I help others because, in the perfection of Christ, I'm day by day being made better and less owned by the sins in my life. That's what puts us in position to help others. Not that we're perfect, but that we have the perfection of Christ.

And that perfection is not a theory you just talk about — it plays out in your life. People can notice the progress. People can notice the victories, the deliverance. So as you defeat sins in your life, you can help others defeat those sins in their lives. That's how it works.

Examine Yourself First

Now there are people in your life — you might be able to think of them right now — who need your help. You can think of people right now that you know, that you could offer correction to. And if not, it will come up. It's always going to come up. If you care about these people, you want to see them succeed.

So they need correction. How do you approach it? Well, if you take this passage to heart, I think the first step is to examine yourself. Examine yourself first.

Do you have this sin handled in your life, or does it still command you? When that sin comes knocking, do you open the door and say, "Yes, sir"? Or do you tell it to take a hike? If the sin commands you, then perhaps hold off on correcting others about it. Not forever — kill this thing, because that person needs your help. Don't just do it for yourself. Do it because other people are depending on you to guide them away from pitfalls. The blind need guides. They just don't need blind guides. They need humble guides, victorious guides. So get to work. Don't ignore the things in your life that are still lingering, that have become such a normal part of your life that you tend to overlook them. They're still a speck or a log. People are depending on you for non-hypocritical help so that they can also experience freedom and victory.

Yes, they get it from God, but God uses people. Jesus chose his twelve, then went out and ministered alongside them, because it's not just Jesus alone — he uses people to help people. And if it's an addiction, you might feel like you are powerless, but if you are in Christ, that's not true. You can kill it as you're filled with the Holy Spirit.

The other thing this takes — and it's bound up with the first — is ruthless honesty with yourself. Ask yourself if you're guilty of this sin. Maybe not that exact sin in that exact way, but do you struggle with it in a different form? Maybe you do the same thing differently. Our hearts and minds can trick us into thinking, "Well, I don't do that. " Don't you, though?

They do it with children, but you do it with coworkers, or whatever. This person explodes in their anger. This person takes their anger, stuffs it down, and does passive-aggressive things. Don't they both struggle with anger? One breaks stuff in the house, the other shuns people through silence — but they're both not bridling the anger.

So you've got to be ruthlessly honest with yourself. Maybe you don't do it the exact same way, maybe you don't do it to the exact extreme, but — is this something that is not yet a victory in your life? You've got to be real with yourself for this to work.

You're Not Qualified by Perfection — You're Qualified by Christ

When you feel hesitant to offer correction to somebody — and some of us are very ready and eager to correct others, and some of us are much more cautious, much more shy about it, we don't like confrontation, it's just weird, we'd rather enjoy the pizza and the ball game or whatever — but we're failing them if we don't approach them.

When you feel hesitant to offer correction, remember who qualifies you to do it. Your perfect track record is not your license to correct others. You know why? Because you don't have one. Neither do I. It's Christ's perfection. We hold ourselves and others to his standard. We rest in God's forgiveness in Christ, and we point people to that forgiveness.

So the main thing we're after is not for us to forgive them. The main thing we're after is for God to forgive them. And that's not going to happen if they persist in the sin without true repentance. That's your angle. It's applying the gospel to other people's lives so they can be saved from tripping into pits. You're helping them. Let them know that's your angle — and not in a way where it's like, "Hey, I'm trying to help you, all right? " Not with the attitude, but help them truly understand that that's what you're there for.

Maybe you've been in the pit. You've seen it. You don't want that for them. You want to walk around it. Let me show you how, as it has been shown to me. That's a different angle than just pointing out specks in people's eyes. Not everyone is going to appreciate that, but many will. And they'll look back on it not only with gratitude for how you helped them, but now they can help other people. The healed person extends healing to someone else, who can now extend that healing to someone else. And none of it's happening if we're all just protecting our diseases.

The eye surgery is necessary. Before you fix other people, let Jesus fix you. Do your own eye surgery, then with humility and mercy, offer it to others.

Don't wait until you're perfect, because then you'll never correct anybody. But do you have a rhythm of victory in your life — where you're above reproach, where no one can say, "Your life is riddled with this. You're talking about my speck, look at your beam"? They're not able to do that because it's such trace amounts in your life at this point. And if they're pointing to the past, you can say, "Yes, that was me. But by God's grace, look at my eye now. Your eye can be like that. " That's grace.

When you do it this way, you're not a hypocritical judge. You're a gracious guide — a help to stir others up toward love and good works.